Tuesday, November 3, 2009

This my 3rd time attempt at this post! I'm going to get it done!! I have had so much on my mind lately.. There are zillion things I want to share with all of you (the very few that happen to read this that is..). Today I've been thinking about how much things have changed. I gotta admit, I'm not a big fan of change. You think you have everything figured out and then you turn around only to realize that everything is completely different! It's a pain in the ass, lemme tell ya'.

Seriously though, I've changed so much since high school. Not just my life in general, but personally too. I felt as though I was pretty nice back then, but of course, that's just what I thought. I'd hate to think of what people REALLY thought of me.. Ha, Idk. But I did try. Once you get out of high school you realize there are so many other things to worry about. Life is suddenly yours. You thought you had real responsibility when you finally got to pick your own high school classes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! If only that's all I had to worry about now..

But back to the changes.. The friends you thought you would stay close to after high school move on with their lives. The security in knowing that you didn't HAVE to know what you wanted to do with the rest of your life no longer exists. Even though all of this sounds depressing, it isn't. If you were anything like me, you didn't think anything could get any better than high school. But then I graduated and life was a billion times better! You find out who your REAL friends are and realize that those are the ones who REALLY matter. You start to mold your own life. Life on your own starts after high school. You can choose to do anything.. Work instead of going to school. Go to school and choose which path in life you want to take. (I think a mosquito was just gnawing on my leg..)

I don't really know what I'm getting at. All I know is that right now, I love my life. Yes I've gone through huge changes, especially in the past year, but I've handle them well. I miss my friends. GOD I MISS MY FRIENDS! We've all began to start our own lives and that makes it difficult, ya know?? I miss my mom, and whole family for that matter. Oh how I miss my cat.. I miss not paying bills or having to worry if there's enough toilet paper. However, I do LOVE living on my own. I do love making new friends and still having the old. But the change that I love most is the person I've become (Ok, that sounds self-centered.. but you'll understand in a minute) I'm not sure about the type of person I was back in high school, or even the year or so after. But now I know I'm a good person. I try so hard to be the best person I can. I love and care for people so easily. I want EVERYONE (even you reading this) to know that they don't deserve to be judged, or looked down on; that they deserve the absolute best in life; that they are beautiful; and more than anything, they deserve to be LOVED. And if noone else will, I will. And that's why my personal change is the change I love most.

Anyway.. Sorry this is so deep! I told you I had alot on my mind lately. I swear all of these won't be like that. I'm going to go now and watch some funny videos on youtube.. Or go wake Codey up! Hope you liked readind :]

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